Mercy in the messes

There were so many beautiful moments this week. Many of them are not adequately represented here in pictures or are absent altogether. But then again, most of the best moments I can remember weren't captured in tangible form and I think I'm thankful for that. This week added a whole collection of new favorite memories. I could try to describe them but it's late and perhaps the list is not the point this time. I think what is coursing through my mind at the moment is the realization that even though I didn't have it all together this week, there were still so many undeserved beauties, so many gifts of mercy from my Father.  I'm sitting here in the late night lamp light, knowing that tomorrow and the day after and the week after is under my Father's protection and hedged by His provision. 

I'm under no delusion that life will always be easy because He is in control of it. I will make mistakes and those mistakes will have painful implications. But fearing those implications and trying to anxiously hold every single piece in place is, I think, more wearing and painful than actually suffering many of the consequences of making mistakes. I am human and sinful. I make messes. I am  not going to make peace with those messes but I am also resolving in the grace of God not to fear those messes. I'm not perfect and trying to be so is paralyzing and unbiblical. 

If it feels like this is a public pep talk, I won't completely deny it. This week started a bit rough. It was hard to get out of bed and face my potential for making messes. It was hard to find some of those messes staring me in the face. It was hard to open up the refrigerator and be reminded that I can't run to food to assuage my frustration. I taught a few lessons and classes I don't plan to repeat. So yes, this is a self-directed truth fest. But I've decided not to delete it because I want to be held accountable to the truth I believe and to the beauty I see. And I also wonder if maybe we can collectively stand a reminder that grace is real, that mercy is deep, and that these truths should actually impact the intensity of our fears and the constancy of our joy.